Last night’s Raw was the go-home edition before Wrestlemania. It had one purpose-to sell Wrestlemania. There were some great moments. And then there was some “Rosey stuck in the phone booth” moments where I lamented not watching United States of Tara. (Though I admit. I did laugh when Rosey was stuck in the phone booth.) At my daughter’s daycare, she has happy choices and sad choices. So in honor of that, I have created the WWE’s “Happy Choices” and “Sad Choices” from last night’s Raw.
-CM Punk’s promo. That was the perfect way to start the show. CM Punk owned the crowd and they hung on every word he said. (Granted it was his hometown Chicago. Stone Cold always owned Dallas during Raws I saw live.) CM Punk understands how to work the crowd. What’s funny is that on my timeline on Twitter, the people who liked Punk greatly outnumbered the people who like Orton. Randy Orton is so wasted as a face. And the people really want to boo him. Punk just has a way of doing things so differently. While every wrestler is cutting the same kind of promo, Punk is chillin’ in the ring and speaking quietly.
-The three-way promo was excellent with Taker, HHH & HBK. You had three of the greatest of all-time on the mic just doing work. Terry Funk described it in his book as “the dance.” Now his phrase “the dance” was mostly in-ring work, but I think it still applied to the promo. Shawn came out to the ring, dancing, soaking up the adoration of the fans. HHH and Taker both gave him the “look of death.” Just the facials alone were good enough. For how it ended, it could have been better. Please do not let Shawn get involved in the match. It would have to culminate in a match, and I’d just like somebody’s (ANYBODY’S) retirement to stick.
-On the opposite end of the spectrum, the other three-man combination promo left a lot to be desired. I had The Rock and I had John Cena in the ring at the same time with mics in hand. Maybe I expected too much. I don’t know. Here was Rock-Hogan again, except I like both wrestlers. I don’t know exactly what made me hate the segment so much. It just looked like Cena was outclassed and out of his league. Rock could go toe to toe with Hogan. Cena could not go toe-to-toe with The Rock. Thankfully the Miz came out from the back. I felt he was more ready for The Rock than Cena was. But then, there’s only one “The Great One.” It looked like the Greek god Ares in there with Phobos and Deimos. And then the WWE had Miz & Alex Riley attack Rock and Cena because? And then John Cena attacked the Rock. I do not want to see Dwayne Johnson in the ring. He hasn’t been in the ring for a long time. If they want to make him guest referee, sure, why not? But please, let’s focus on John Cena & The Miz.
-The Snooki build-up was stupid. I thought it would have been cute to watch Snooki training with Trish in a gym, much like Eugene and William Regal. It was so horrible. And I’m not a Snooki-hater. I love her. It was just so awful. That segment did absolutely nothing whatsoever to sell me on that match. On the bright side, they know they have Wrestlemania coming up and are selling it.