There is a lot of buzz swirling around. Fedor has been released. Matt Hamill has retired. Rory MacDonald was compared to Georges St. Pierre. Too bad the buzz is in the world of MMA. Wrestling’s buzz has been gently calmed like a vuvuzela at a funeral. I’m still anticipating the direction of the Summerslam main event. We’re not seeing enough of Punk off tv, as we should be. The WWE doesn’t have enough faith in their “off-tv” buzz.
We have some questions to answer. As I’m sure most of you have been waiting with breathless anticipation, I decided on the Sheamus t-shirt. What matches are we going to see at Summerslam? Will Beth Phoenix and Nattie Neidhart become the new power BFF couple? Will it get so bad, I look for books to download on my Kindle? If it gets really bad, I might start posting excerpts from Josh Hamilton’s autobiography.
Oh, look. Raw is beginning with Triple H. It’s 2005 all over again. He cuts a promo putting over the huge match at Summerslam. Triple H is going to be the referee at Summerslam. Both Cena and Punk get to be in action tonight. And Cena’s match is now. Cena kinda got in Trips’ face. My only hope is that HHH will be a tweener and be kept out of the title picture.
After the commercial we find out Cena’s opponent is new dad Jack Swagger. This wasn’t a pure squash match. Swagger got in some good offense. I liked the flow of the match. Cena didn’t squash him. Nobody in the universe thought Swagger was winning, but sometimes the story is in the dance. I think it was a nice positive first match.
The highlight of the night was the Shake Weight commercial. “It’s going to kick. Your. Butt.” Then they recalled Mr. Perfect-Bret Hart from Summerslam ’91. We get a guy with a mic telling us he had Punk’s opponent, which brought the best hair in the WWE, Ricardo Rodriguez to introduce Alberto del Rio. He calls Punk the Voice of the Cowards. Then Josh Matthews is back with R-Truth, who looks like he needs to click here. He is pondering why God created spiders. Somehow this relates to John Morrison.
Cee-Lo Green will be performing at Summerslam. Please tell me he gets to sing Gnarls Barkley’s “Crazy” for R-Truth’s entrance. Rey and Miz are having a match. Rey comes out and then Miz attacks him. I really like the beatdown he put on Rey. The stage made lots of noise and made it sound a lot worse than it actually was. And then Cole went in to interview Miz. Miz cut a very, very good promo about how there is so much emphasis on the main event, they haven’t given any attention to Miz. I like angry Miz. Miz gets a new opponent-Kofi Kingston. The match started really well. Kofi is such an incredible athlete.
They are announcing Rey getting a title shot when they are in San Diego next. What is this? Planning for future shows and building them up? It’s like somebody is finally listening to us. Again, no question in who was going to win, but a great match nonetheless.
During the Orton-Christian promo, I shop for more books. This looks good. Then I ponder how gray hair in his beard are the least of Randy Johnson’s problems with women. He’s rich, famous, and at 6’10”, he probably has his share of “big feet syndrome.”
Ricardo Rodriguez introduces Alberto del Rio and goes after the San Jose Sharks in Spanish. I popped for that. Short, quick. Punk must be careful that in the pursuit of monsters (politics games backstage) that he does not become one himself. Again, no doubt who would win this one.
The commercial break gave me a nice chance to check out some more books like this. Eve Torres faced Beth Phoenix, or, as my wife would say, The Battle of the She-Ras. Did Michael Cole and Jerry Lawler discuss the X-Men? And then, at one point, they told him to just “call the match.” I agree. The commentary was pretty crappy tonight. Phoenix won and then told Eve no more booty-popping. I agree. Sara del Rey is a very popular wrestler and doesn’t have to booty-pop.
Then there was a Teen Choice Awards recap. And we got to see Justin Bieber do “You Can’t See Me.” Ah, the jokes could last all night. Then we got Dolph Ziggler versus Alex Riley. He insults Vicky by saying that Death itself took a dump in her mouth. Please tell me Alex Riley had that scripted for him. No human being alive could say something that stupid. At least they’re not calling her fat. I was a little uncomfortable with that because Vicky’s husband is dead. Hopefully I’m just being over-sensitive.
I’m pleased we get to see R-Truth & Morrison in a main event. There was some good stuff to the match. In the back, Super Dave Osborne is asking HHH for an autograph. Cole mocks JR & King for being boring, which I believe is like Sheamus making fun of me for being redheaded. Now they go to Christian. He has an announcement. As a favor to Super Dave, Triple H lets him be on tv.
Punk and Cena sit at the table. Punk says that all contract signings ending the same way so why don’t we just flip the tables over. Punk and HHH trade barbs about movies. (Y u no mention Blade: Trinity?) Punk has a video from The Rock which wakes up my wife. Cena went after the internet fans. Cena cut a pretty good promo. I really liked the three trading barbs at each other. All three of them are right and make you believe that each person is right.
The first hour of Raw was really good. The ending segment made the price of admission alone worth it. All three played off of each other so well. I even found myself liking John Cena. Looks like they’re building to the Summerslam ’97 finish. Sigh, but a really compelling great Raw tonight.