I’m probably going to have no idea of what is going on tonight on Raw. My daughter has been up unseasonably late because our air is not working upstairs. I’m fine, but all the women in my house are freaking out. Somebody is fixing our air right now (or trying to). Earlier, she bashed a stuffed rabbit in the head with a frying pan. Later she took the same pan, put her stuffed rabbit in the pan and then put salt on it. I blamed my dad, Yosemite Sam and the two French chefs who tried to cook Bugs Bunny.
My daughter has been sitting next to me watching Dora. She won’t be happy when we turn on Raw and no more Dora. Hold on. We have to do the “We Did It” dance…
Well, sorry for my Nick Jr. tangent. Such has been my life tonight.
Raw begins with HHH in a suit. Dora usually begins with her greeting us. He begins by pretty much ending the brand split. I’m in the minority that I never minded the brand split. But all the potential, the WWE never lived up to. HHH calls out Kevin Nash. Instead, we get Punk. I prefer that. How are they making all these movie references and nobody has mocked Blade: Trinity yet? Then Nash comes out to the ring wearing the shirt he did as The Russian in The Punisher. Punk and Nash go back and forth. (Nash needs to be off tv. He should be used in a legends capacity, not as an active wrestler.) I love how Punk, whenever he went off on Triple H, smiled and said “Pipe Bomb.” That needs to be on a t-shirt. I don’t want Nash vs. Punk. It’s like a pitching contest between Steve Carlton and Roy Halladay. Steve Carlton is one of the greatest pitchers of all time, if not the greatest of his era. But this isn’t his era anymore. Celebrate the man’s career, but keep him off the mound today.
Randy Orton comes to the ring. We got Orton vs. Ziggler. I really liked the match. It was very-well constructed. I don’t like Randy Orton as a face. It’s kind of like Larry David as a romantic lead opposite Jennifer Aniston. Just not believable. The crowd was really into this match. And they should have been; this was a really good match. Dare I call it one of Raw’s best matches all year?
Josh Matthews asks John Cena for his reaction. Cena says nothing and walks to the ring. I think this is his best promo of the year so far. Cena takes the admiration of the crowd very well. He acts like he wants to be there in front of the crowd. He doesn’t sound like scripted Cena. He sounds like John you would sit next to in the bar. He tells Alberto del Rio to come get some. Instead he gets Mark Henry. I really think Mark Henry needs a mouthpiece, like a Paul Heyman or the next Paul Heyman somewhere in FCW or the indies (if he exists). Then Christian comes out. I wonder what it would be like if they unscripted Christian. Christian and Mark Henry challenged Cena. And then Sheamus comes to his rescue.
Now, in the back, Super Dave Osborn is talking to Little Naitch about making this match. Triple H made it earlier.
Miz and Punk had their match. Miz got on the mic and cut a nice promo before their match. Wife comment of the night: CM Punk hasn’t been flipping enough in the tanning bed. Miz now does this Shane McMahon-like bouncing. The two fed off of each other and had a really nice match. R-Truth ran in and interfered. The match ended by DQ, and I’m totally ok with that. Then in the post-match beat-down, Nash attacked Punk. It was 1996 on my tv all over again. HIDE, REY MISTERIO, JR., HIDE!
After the commercial break, we got Sin Cara vs. Jack Swagger. My wife is now trying to find all the comparisons between Mistico/Sin Cara and Hunico/Sin Cara. Vickie walks out to scout Swagger. Apparently, she thought he was somebody from Vampire Diaries. I have no idea who won.
Bourne and Kofi, who are tag team champs who come out separately. They faced Otunga and McGillicutty. I died a little inside. Air Boom beat the former Nexus like they were Lazer Tron 2000. Then Otunga started messing with Jerry Lawler. God help us all. He heard me and gave me the image of Kelly Kelly and Eve Torres.
We got to see Kelly fight one of the Bellas. The Bellas did the ol’ switcheroo. The Bella won. Wonder if we’ll get to see the same match again next week.
We got a video package on Alex Riley. I wonder if, as a kid, he dreamed of telling Vickie Guerrero that he breath smelled like death took a dump in her mouth. Seriously, good video package. They need more of these for the newer guys.
The main event was pretty good. Sheamus and Mark Henry work really well together. HHH then told Punk that the Nash match was cancelled. It was going to be Punk-HHH. (Already?)
Well, I thought it was a pretty good Raw. The wrestling is probably the best I’ve seen in some time. I liked this Super Raw thing. It had a special feel to it, and I liked the anticipation. It still has its glaring weaknesses: Divas division, David Otunga and Kevin Nash. But there are a lot of really great things going on. Keep on building on what you’ve created.