Raw is in a Rush 1-9-12

So we begin Raw tonight.

Kane talks forever. And then Cena comes out and they brawl into the crowd. It was a pretty awesome brawl and Cena was silent. I thought the announcers did a nice job of selling the brawl.

Sheamus & Santino took on Wade Barrett and Jinder Mahal. It was not a bad match. Mahal got pinned with the Cobra. Mahal, hope you like Florida, because I think you’ll be wrestling at the Impact Zone.

Miz is in the back with Johnny Ace and the never-ending cup of coffee with David Otunga.

Edge is being inducted in the Hall of Fame. So deserved.

Miz wants Mason Ryan to share needles or something.

Then Zack Ryder is hitting on Eve again and it works. Then Kane is seen lurking in the shadows.

Now Kofi Kingston is going to take on Daniel Bryan. I think it was a squash. Then Daniel Bryan celebrated like he had won the World Series. Then we had Big Show face off with Daniel Bryan.

Brodus Clay finally debuts. Holy s***! It’s the love child of Ernest “The Cat” Miller and Flash Funk. Poor Curt Hawkins.

We get Jack Swagger taking on CM Punk. Of course their match was good as we knew it would be. I also like the story they told of Dolph & Vickie getting involved. The ending just seemed kind of really weird, like a ref botch.

Miz wanted Ricardo Rodriguez to call out R-Truth for him. Ricardo Rodriguez was so awesome. Then R-Truth came out and asked Ricardo Rodriguez to sing a song. So he sang a remix of La Cucaracha. Rodriguez owned that segment.

Chris Jericho came out, soaked up the adoration of the crowd and began crying and then walked off. Brilliant.

Eve was about to go to the ring when Kane’s music hit. So Zack Ryder comes to get her and then goes to the car. The car’s tire is flat. So Ryder gets out to change the tire and leaves Eve stuck in the car. Zack Ryder has never seen a horror film. And Kane is apparently really slow.

Ziggler and Cena had a really nice match. And then, as we all knew would happen, Kane got to Zack Ryder. So Cena left the match and Kane laid him out.

All in all… I really wanted to like this Raw. But they did everything they could to make me not like it. Chalk this one up to awful.

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2 Responses to Raw is in a Rush 1-9-12

  1. Johnny Bryan says:

    I really wanted to like this raw too. Maybe next week…….

  2. Jana Jerusalem says:

    But…but…the Funkasaurus!!!

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